1.Kradziez
Nooby nie kradna, tylko pozyczaja
2.Ucieczka
Nooby nie uciekaja, tylko biegna do pz
3.Klamanie
Nooby nie klamia, tylko opowiadaja ich historie
4.Pandy
W zwiazku z zwiekszona liczba graczy odwiedzajaca Port Hope populacja misiow Pand znacznie zmalala mimo iz sa pod ochrona
5.Motto prawdziwego tibijczyka
Padles? Powstan! Idz po bp!
6.Nooby
Dlaczego nooby nie bawia sie w chowanego? ... Bo nikt by ich nie szukal.
7.Piraci
Piraci sa zaniepokojeni o swoje pirackie nogi po wprowadzeniu termitow do gry
8.Lagi pod wieczor
Spotykaja sie dwaj wojowie, Ratillt i Diabllord. Oboje wymieniaja grzecznosci i pytaja sie nawzajem co slychac. Ratillt pyta kompana czy nie odczuwa dziwnych lagow miedzy godzinami 20 a 23 ostatnio. Na to Diabllord odpowiada, ze od 23 do 20 tez odczuwa.
9.Zdanie do nastepnej klasy
Co sie mó·© jak sie zda do nastepnej klasy? Level up _/
10.F-13
Po wcisnieciu F-13 dostajemy magic long sworda
11.Udrega nooba
Zebrac o item albo nie zebrac o item o to jest pytanie
12.Cyklop
Ciekawe jak to jest widziec w 3-d -pomyslal cyklop
13.Slime
Ciekawe ktory to moja matka -pomyslal Slime
14.Biznes
Chyba otworze pieczarkarnie -pomyslal dwarf trzymajac white mushrooma
15.Melchior
Melchior -prawdopodobnie najbardziej znienawidzony NPC (potrzebny do green/blue djinn questa ,szweda sie po calym ankrahmun
16.Torreador
Najlepsi Tibijscy torreadozy uzywaja biczy z wlasow Trolli Chempionow
17.chuck norris (GMP)
Tylko chuck norris moze uzywac GMP na knighcie
18.chuck norris na mainie
Tylko chuck norris moze wyjsc na maina na 1 levelu
19.chuck norris
Tylko chuck norris moze uzywac rozdzki na knighcie
20.Lekcje angielskiego
na pytanie "czy odrobiles prace domowa"? odpowiedz brzmi... "Yes, I did't. (poziom zaawansowany)
21.DELETED
Do not vote please.
22.kot
Co robi kot na rl gdy spadnie? spada na 4 lapy a co robi kot w tibii jak spadnie? nic bo w tibii sie nie da spasc
23.Itemki
Co widzi normalny gracz: 10:35 Gree Dee: Feel FREE to buy my ITEMS! Co widzi noob: 10:35 Gree Dee: xxxx FREE xx xxx xx ITEMS!
24.Chuck
Chuck norris potrafi zabic Orshabaal 1 uhem i uleczyc sie przy tym SD
25.Chuck
Chuck norris na guardii harmoni pacerze mial red skulla za zabijanie
26.Noob
Ile czasu noob idzie z Carlin do Venore? Noby nie chodza do Veno tylko okupuja Carlin
27.MS
Przychodzi MS do Druida, a Druid tez Premium...
28. DELETED
Do not vote
29.DELETED
Do not vote
30.Do you know what is the food...
Do you know what is the food which according to experts decrease 90% in sexual desire?
-Wedding cake.
31.The beggar
The beggar comes to a lady and asks for alms.
- Instead of getting panhandling, why not go to work?
-Lady, I'm begging and not asking for advices!
32.Fishing
I had a bucket of water and a fishing rod, so the noob asked me:
- What are you fishing?
- Idiots.
- How many you've got?
- Three, with you!
33.Corsair can not be football player
Why the Pirate Corsair can not be football player?
Because he's stilt. (He have wooden legs)
34.Amazon and Hunter in love
The Hunter takes the Amazon to the motel. Once there, she undresses, lies down in bed, opens her legs and with faint voice whispers:
- Amazon: Come, make me feel like a woman!
The guy takes her clothes off, throws them on top of the girl and says:
- Hunter: Here, wash!
35.What is the similarity between a Christmas tree and a Monk?
What is the similarity between a Christmas tree and a Monk?
-The balls are just for decoration!
36.Two hunters and a scarab
Two hunters were trying to take a scarab of the earth, when one of them, who was holding the animal by its tail, weary of pushing, shouted to his friend:
-Hunter: Stick your finger in his ass that him comes out!
The man buried his finger in the ass of the scarab that quick got out.
Than the scarab screamed:
-Scarab: Damn! You came here to hunt or to f$%k me?!
37.Jesus
A boy was super addicted to Tibia, and one day his mother sent the boy to go to church ... Arriving at the church, the pastor asked
- Boy, do you accept Jesus? And the boy replied:
- I can add him on the vip, but only if he play in the same world that I play
38.GM vs Fisherman
GameMaster: I'll ban and confiscate your equipment because you're fishing in prohibited season.
Fisherman: As you know, is at this time that has a lot of fish. And during the fishing season hardly any.
Fisherman: Why should I obey the rules, if the fish do not obey?
39.Fishing with 10k!?
The husband comes home from fishing and the woman asks:
- Hey, what caught today?
- Three Green Perch, four Northern Pike and one Rainbow Trout!
- Impossible! - she says.
- As well, impossible?
- Hey! You just ran away from home with 10k!
40.Women and children first!
A ship was sinking and the Captain Fearless started yelling:
- Quitting the ship! Women and children first!
A slime man, who had a wife and four babies slimes inside the ship, approached and said, with tears in his eyes:
- I'm very touched, sir. You are very humane!
- Humanitarian LoL! Once the sharks are on a full stomach, they will not want to do with us, sir!
41.Leader vs Team
Leader smart + smart Team = 100% profit
Leader smart. + dumb Team = The quest service will take long
Dumb Leader + smart Team = 50% of success and 50% for fail
Dumb Leader + dumb Team = Fail. Free passage for Eremo.
42.Praise
A woman Braindeath looks in the mirror and says to her husband:
Braindeath: I'm so ugly, fat and over! I need a compliment ...
And the husband replies:
Elder Bonelord: Your vision is great!!
43.What happened in a war between Quaras and Vampiries?
What happened in a war between Quaras and Vampiries?
-They fought with nails and teeth.
44.Married Conversation
King Tibianus: Honey, what do you prefer? A handsome man or an intelligent man?
Queen Eloise: Neither of the two. You know I only like you.
45.On terrorism is different
What is the difference between a woman guild leader with PMS and a terrorist?
With a terrorist you can negotiate.
46.Trafficking of animals
A couple were smuggled animals. It was enough to put a good amount of animals in bags, only the Skunk that could not fit in the trunk, they had to take with them. Arriving at the depot they saw a GM. Then the woman asked her husband:
- Amazon: And now, where do I put this Skunk?
- Hunter: And he said, puts the underside of the dress!
- Amazon: But the stench?
- Hunter: The Skunk can handle.
47.I love you!
King Tibianus: I love you! Love you! Love you! Love you! Love you!
Queen Eloise: Wow my love! Need you say it so often?
King Tibianus: It's to decorate!
48.Looking for a husband
One woman placed an advert in the Trade-Channel that read:
- Looking for a husband.
The next day, she received hundreds of letters saying:
- You can stay with mine
49.Male or Female? Bats
The Queen Eloise comes home and finds her husband King Tibianus with a flypaper in hand, looking for victims.
Queen Eloise: Honey what are you doing?
King Tibianus: Do not you see I'm killing bats?
Queen Eloise: and how many have you killed?
King Tibianus: I killed 3 males and 2 females!
Queen Eloise: and how do you know which are males and females?
King Tibianus: Is that 3 were in the bottle of beer and two were on the phone.
50.Millionaire thanks to his wife
Queen Eloise: Thanks to me, my husband became a millionaire!
Emma: Lol, but when you got married he was not a millionaire?
Queen Eloise: Of course not, when we got married he was a billionaire!
51.Some noob stuff
I've fought for loot snake
I've played stick, in the water
I've asked people lvl
I've begged for wild warrior, amazon, witch, valk, and others to kill me naum
I've got a basement without rope I stayed 15 mins fishing without worms
52.Antidote
Why people in rl die by Spider's attacks or by Snakes?
Because they didn't buy Antidote (exana pox)
53.Fire
Why are tibian players not scared in rl of fire?
Because it's only 20 hitpoints
54.The 4 vocations in Tibia
red pixel yellow pixel blue pixel green pixel
55.What the slime told to cyclops?
You're big but you're not 3
56.Why did the skeleton took the ball to Ghostland?
To score a "ghoul"
57.Which creature is always in fashion?
The blue "djinns"
58.What's the air company of tibians?
WASP
59.Feed a noob
Give a noob a fish, feed him for a day. Give a noob a fishing rod, he will throw it in the water.
60.Cat vs Rat
After being pursued for a long time for a cat, the rat hides in a cave and sits there for hours. Until, when he heard dogs barking, thought the cat was gone and went for a walk. However, once stuck his head out, was caught by the claws of the cat.
- Do you imitates barking? - asked surprised.
And the cat: - My friend, in this globalized world, who don't speaks two languages ??die of hunger!
61.Refrigerant 2
a dwarf walks into a bar, goes to the counter and asks for a soda, nobody responds. he starts to jump and say:
- give me a soda?
and is jumping and asking for and no one, goes around the counter and on the other side has a dwarf waiter jumping and saying,
- coke or pepsi?
62.Circus
In the circus, just before the presentation night, the giant and the dwarf go to the bathroom to empty the bladder. They are side by side, relieving themselves and the dwarf does not stop blinking, and the giant says:
- Are you queer? - Asked the giant to dwarf
- not stop flashing me!
The dwarf gets angry and replies:
- Is that you're spilling pee in my face!
63.Refrigerant
a dwarf comes into a bar and asks:
- give me a fanta ...
jumping on the counter, after an hour he complains:
- I'm leaving nobody answer me ....
when passing through the side of the counter sees another dwarf jumping from the inside:
- grape or orange?
64.Stiff?
Two dwarfs, preparing to have sex, the female dwarf takes off her clothes and is embarrassed to see the male dwarf fidgeting around and asks:
- It's tough?
And the male dwarf replied:
- It is hard to find
65.Minotaurs
Minotaur is so ugly, so ugly, that when he was born his mother kept screaming, in fear!
66.Noobs
Noobs aren't nice... some of them pretend to be nice because they know they run less.
67.King Cyclops
My grandmother used to say, in blind lands, Cyclops is king.
68.Who is the richest person in Tibia?
Nobody. "Nobody owns this house" - He has many houses in Tibia.
69.The apex of business
Saying that you sell stuff only by parcel and the buyer has to send the money first.
70.Why do orcs have green skin?
Because they ate at Frodo's!
71.Chickens
Chuck Norris gets exp from chickens.
72.No sex in Tibia
Why there is no double beds in Tibia? Because the only way to create new characters is using the official site.
73.A little joke for a dread doll
a beautiful day. around thais a noob saying, please health potion, and then came a guy and kill him, after complaining the noob ask the reason of death, and the killer said. did not want to heal? then. filled life: D
74.Sky
Why in tibia is no sky? Because Dragons, birds and other monsters would be undeadable
75.Love
What loves you in bad and good times until it dies? A mad sheep
76.Trap
What would do Chuck Norris if he would be traped? Log out
77.Parkour
U can't do in tibia parkour? Sure u can Just buy in edron spell levitate :D
78.Amazon sad
why the amazon was sad? because were deforestation the Amazonia
79.red skull: premmy vs free acc
You see a premmium account, full of addons, with red skull, you say: -Damn, nice outfits! You see a free account, without anything, walking around, with red skull, you scream: OMG! ONE PK, SOMEBODY SAVE ME!
80.What is the favorite movie of the Pirates from Nargor?
What is the favorite movie of the Pirates from Nargor?
- The incredible ''hook''
81.meeting with a noob
What do you want to do first when u see a noob? IGNORE FAST!!
82.why are gms invisible?
Why Gms are often invisible?
Because they don't want to be spammed by noobs
83.Roles
What is the role of:
PG Player: fast leveling
Fighter: fighting for honour
Noobs: noobing? Of course not they are just playing
84.chain helmets
Two chain helmets are having a conversation; one says "I'll stay here, you go on ahead."
85.anty noob method
what's the best method to do when a noob want free items? X LOG
86.What did slime say to cyclops?
You're big but you're not 4!
87.Tibian addicted II
Jesus didn't resurrect, he respawned.
88.Which creatures wear trousers?
Answer: Blue/Green Jeans
89.bonelord
Why bonelord has so many eyes? Because, he wants to better see you
90.Grim Reaper
Why Grim Reaper has a scythe in his hand? Because he was a farmer
91.Noobs
noobs don't lie, they tell you their story noobs don't run away, they go to pz noobs don't steal, they just want to borrow it
92.Chuck Norris in tibia
I once saw a man cornered by eight demons when I was reaching near to help ... Chuck Norris said: No kill, I'm training
93.What is the style of music that the vampire likes?
What is the style of music that the vampire likes? Emo
94.The hack spell...
Exevirus Hack Sio "name" P.S.: Don't forget the 'Sio' or you will hack... yourself?
95.What is the monster that tibia can lock your computer?
What is the monster that tibia can lock your computer?
- The bug
96.Bonelords
Why u can't block bonelord?
Because Bonelords attack with spells
97.What you are allowed to do at 18?:)
3 people are speaking and the one says:
"What can you do when u are 18 years old?"
The second says "And what can you do when you have 18 lvl?"
Third person asks "Sex, drink alcohol, driva a car...?"
All of them speak at one time "SO LET US LVL UP FASTER!!!!"
98.Wolves
Why are wolves so weak? Because they find more dead bodies of noobs then they would be able to kill.
99.What says a noob to other noob?
NOOB
100.who is faster?
Who is faster : 80 lvl or 100 lvl?
Nobody, because the floor is moving only :P
101.What is doing a noob?
What is saying noob every day?
noob: Please free items And what is doing noob whe he is ill?
noob: please spend me some money, for medicine
102.What are you doing when u shot a rune?
Click on Use/hotkey
103.Knock Knock!
Knock Knock!... Who's there?... Ferumbras... Ferumbras who?... No joke! Is Ferumbras, run!
104.Whats the difference between a rat and a cave rat?
What's the difference between a rat and a cave rat? The cave rat has cookies
105.GM x Hero
What's the difference between a stupid GM and a Hero? You won't get annoyed by a Hero
106.Funny joke
What's a green point at cemetery quarter?
Green Reaper
107.Knock Knock
~knock knock~ "who's there?" ......... "hello, who's there?"............
108.Beholders joke
Why are beholders so ugly?
Because their mom and dad are beholders, too!
109.Cyclops joke
Bozo: How many eyes does a cyclops have?
One for each IQ point of their opponents!
110.Demons joke
Why are the experienced players quicker than others?
Because demons love fast food!
111.Dragons joke
Why do dragons breath fire?
Because they ate too many sorcerers in chili sauce!
112.Minotaurs joke
What do all baby minotaurs want to become when they are grown-ups?
Cowboys, of course!
113.Skeletons joke
Why do skeletons flee if wounded?
Because they are so spineless!
114.Trolls joke
Why do trolls live underground?
Because on the ground there are so many PKs!
115.Whats the difference?
What's the difference between a Premium Account and a Free Account?
The Premium account has chars with more pixels.
116.A trip to Amazonia!
Mom: Son, we're going to travel to Amazonia.
Son: Ok, Mom. Just let me bring my leather whip, just in case I face a midnight panther.
117.A Dwarf at the spiritualist center:
A player sees a dwarf on the street, that was all smiling and asks:
- Hey Dwarf, why you're all so happy?
And the dwarf replied:
-Because I'm not a dwarf, now I'm a psychic! ***(psychic = medium)***
118.cyclops
-Cyclops son: Dady! Don't you stop growing?
-The Cyclops father: I already stopped a long time. Why?
-Cyclops son: Because the top of your head is showing above the hair.
119.tomato
What do the tomato was in the bank?
It was taking the extract.
120.elephants PMT
Two elephants at the beach:
- Let go swimming in the beach?
- I can not. I am in those days ...
- It's okay ... uses a sheep.
121.horse
What was the horse to the pay phone?
Spending a hoax
122.Turtle vs Larvas Gang
The turtle arrived at the station desolate after being raped and robbed by a gang of larvae. The delegate asked:
- Will Miss could you explain in detail what happened?
- Oh, his deputy! - said the turtle, confused, - all happened so fast!
123.How do you kill a pink elephant?
With a sword to kill pink elephants.
124.How do you kill a white elephant?
Distemper him until he rose and kills him with the sword to kill pink elephants.
125.How do you kill a black elephant?
Give him a scare, then it turns white, then you distemper until he rose and killed him with sword to kill the pink elephant.
126.How do you kill a purple elephant?
Paint it black, then you give a start on it until it turns white, then you distemper him until he rose and kills him with the sword to kill pink elephant.
127.How do you kill a green elephant?
Punches him until he was purple, then you paint it black, and gives him a scare until it turns white then you distemper him until he rose and kills him with a sword to kill pink elephant.
128.How do you kill a brown elephant?
Put it on a ship for him to be sick and green, then you fill it up to beat him turn purple, then you paint it black, and gives him a scare until it turns white then you distemper him until he kills it with pink and with a sword to kill the pink elephant.
129.How do you kill a blue elephant?
He throws mud at him to turn brown, then put him on a ship for him to be sick and green, then you fill it up to beat him turn purple, then you paint it black, and gives him a scare until it turns white then you distemper him until he rose and kills him with the sword to kill pink elephants.
130.Bats bet
One day three bats made a bet, had to suck blood from the 1st animal they see, and would also hobble the clock the time they arrive. It was the first (arrived in 20 min.)
- See that dog? - was that I sucked. Was second (30 min.)
- You see that sheep? - It was I who sucked.
The third was all excited (arrived in less than 2 min.) all full of blood.
- See that fire elemental over there?
Others say: -No.
And the 3rd says: - Me neither.
131.What an orc berserker said .....
What an orc berserker said to the other when he left a noob escape??
R: KRAIORK! KRAI ORK! KRAI KOR
132.How to make an omelette chocolate?
How to make an omelette chocolate?
- With easter eggs!
133.Why the elephant does not catch fire?
Why the elephant does not catch fire?
- Because it is already gray
134.Dont be so troll!!
< A normal day at the bar of Frodo. >
Frodo: Lord, everything is fine?
Troll: Yeah, but I want to say something...
Troll: Whenever I come, the beer tastes bad, the food looks like trash, the other day I found bugs in my soup and you're ugly as hell...
Frodo: But then, why do you come every day?
Frodo: Are you crazy? Stupid? Or what?
Troll: Nah, I'm a troll.
Troll: Hmmm, bugs.
135.Orc wearing sandals
What type of orc wear sandals?
Orc "Rider".
136.Tibian noticed that his father died in RL
The mother arrives at home and she has to tell her son that plays tibia 24/7, that his father died.
Mom: Son, your father died
Son: STOP CRYING MOM! Just tell me where he died, I'm going to take his loot.
137.The best joke ever :P
What happens if you switch the Dragon's sound with a rats'?
The dragon says: "Meep!"
138.Fire devil
What the male fire devil said to the female one?
- Is it me, or is it hot in here?
139.When Tibia goes... Real
Mom: Son, son...
Son: Yeh, what's up?
Mom: Your uncle died!!! [...]
Son: Ok, he was wearing aol, bless? Or should i go for his loot?
140.Mr.Punish
Mr.Punish jest zasmucony poniewaz gdy ostatni raz pojawil sie na POI stracil swoje kajdanki ktore pozwalaly mu urozmaicic zycie seksualne z zona